


A fallen angel, a broken arrow

by MadImpossibleJ



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 11:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1742384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadImpossibleJ/pseuds/MadImpossibleJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon could't stop hearing the Prophet's words on his mind. He knew what he had to do but it was just too overwhelming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A fallen angel, a broken arrow

**Author's Note:**

> ~*~READ THIS FIRST~*~
> 
> This story contains trigger warnings for self-harm, so be warned.

 

_You have to kill the first risen._

“Shut up, shut up, _shut up_ ”, Simon said to himself as the Prophet’s words echoed in his head, and it was so loud and everything was so terribly loud, the rattling air conditioner, the traffic, the next door’s couple heated argument and he just wanted everything to _shut up_.

 _Calm down, Simon_.

But he couldn’t calm down, the whole world was swallowing him and his body was shaking and he just wanted everything to _stop, for God’s sake, stop_.

He thought about Kieren and an indescribable terror filled him because how could he possibly hurt Kieren? He was the only good thing Simon had in ages and he _couldn’t do it he could never do it._

And he closed his eyes expecting to disappear, to go to some place where he could feel _peace for just a second_ and _oh why was the world so_ _unfair_.

He was desperate and hopelessness was crushing him down and _why does everything have to be so loud why won’t the world shut up why won’t my mind just. shut. up._

For the first time in a few months he felt the desperate urge of having a razor, of cutting his skin open, of letting the physical pain shut his emotions down, of seeing the blood run through his skin but he didn’t even feel pain anymore and it was useless but _oh God I just want it so stop I want it to stop stop stop please._

He numbly stared at the wrapped weapons on the hotel’s bed. _You have to kill the first risen,_ the Prophet had said, and well didn’t he kind of _owe_ him this? The Prophet saw him when no one else did and just accepted him so wasn’t he supposed to… _no, no, I can’t I can’t kill Kieren please don’t make me hurt Kieren I’d never forgive myself_.

He scratched his skin as hard and deep he could, hoping he would feel something. Frustration filled him when he realized it did nothing to help so he just buried his face on his hands and screamed.

He had to accept it. He couldn’t have good things.

_I can’t do this I can’t do this._

But he _had_ to do it.

_Please don’t make me hurt Kieren._

He’d been defeated.

_Oh no don’t._

But what else could he do? Maybe he could just run away and forget either the Prophet or Kieren ever existed.

_I can’t run away I can’t hurt Kieren I can’t do anything please leave me alone._

He screamed again until he could no longer his voice and then stopped abruptly. It was all pointless; the screaming, the scratching, the crying.

_I have to do this._

_(Oh no don’t)._

_I can do this._

_(No you can’t)_

_It’s okay._

_(No it’s not)_

_I’ll be okay it won’t affect me_

_(Yes it will)_

_No it won’t because I’m broken anyway_

_(Yes)_

_(Yes you are)_

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone got to the end of this, thank you. I tried really hard to sum Simon's on 2x05 feelings on just a few words, but I can tell you it wasn't easy. Everything about him was really intense and I tried my best to write this down. I hope you enjoy it and if you did please leave kudos and/or comments! It would mean a lot to me! :)


End file.
